Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Life Sucks for the Most Part, You Can't Go Back to the Start
Have you ever felt that all your efforts are pointless? That's me from now until I graduate High School. My college counselor basically told me that I can't get into a really good college - I was hoping I at least had a chance at Ivy League or at least Georgetown. But, no. I was told my grades were 5 points lower than they needed to be even for Georgetown. I feel like I can get into any lesser college with ease, so I've decided I'm not going to bother trying for the next two years. I'm dropping another of my honors classes next year so I'll have even less work. The problem is that I didn't mind the work if I was working towards something, but with all hope eliminated there doesn't seem to be any reason.
Depression Hurts
ive been feeling really depressed lately. life has been rough. after a week in which i had a bunch of papers due, i was looking forward to a 4 day weekend, the first of the new year. instead, i came down with some disease that rendered me incapable of eating or having any sort of fun and essentially killed my buzz. i went from a huge high on thursday night to an ultimate low tuesday morning. i felt so terrible that my entire weekend evaporated with so little entertainment.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
FUCK Buying Flowers For Graves
This is a personal essay I just wrote for school. I tried to make it about life. Hope you like it.
Suicide is something I have never really understood. The world is such a humongous and wonderful place. There is an innumerable amount of interesting people everywhere. Once, my friends and I were simply wandering around Towson, and we acquainted ourselves with a man waiting for his bus. This man, named J.R., was hilarious. I had rarely if ever had any interaction with anyone like J.R. prior to that night. Life can be both surprising and intriguing with little more than a bit of human interaction.
I remember a movie called The Visitor that also reminds me of this. The main character, Walter, has spent his life after the death of his wife teaching a single class at a university and telling his boss that he is spending all his free time writing a new book. In short, he is a grumpy old man. The trigger of the events in the movie is when Walter returns to his second apartment in NYC after a long hiatus to find that someone took the liberty to rent it to a small, poor family of illegal immigrants consisting of Tarik and his girlfriend Zainab. Walter reluctantly decides to allow them to stay after he discovers they have no place to live. Eventually he gets caught up with them and makes their problems his own. He once again becomes a passionate, caring individual.
In Teddy Macker’s essay, The Weight*, he talks about his teacher, Mr. Wain, who harassed a young girl. I, likewise, had a teacher who was accused of harassing a girl in my middle school. Contrary to Mr. Wain, it was rumored that my teacher took his own life because of this accusation. Although Mr. Wain lost everything he loved in life, along with the only place he felt comfortable, he must have realized he could start over somewhere and still enjoy his experiences. I probably will never find out if the rumor about my teacher is true, but whether or not his specific case actually happened this way doesn’t really matter. What matters is that things like this happen all the time. Someone makes one mistake, and they kill themselves because they believe their lives will never again be fulfilling. The song “A Better Place, A Better Time” by Streetlight Manifesto sums up my feelings on this: “Fuck buying flowers for graves / I'd rather buy you a one way non-stop to anywhere / find anyone / do anything / forget and start again.” If you or anyone you know is ever considering suicide, just remember starting fresh is easier than it seems.
*The Weight was an essay we read in class by Teddy Macker, a guy who taught at Gilman last year
Suicide is something I have never really understood. The world is such a humongous and wonderful place. There is an innumerable amount of interesting people everywhere. Once, my friends and I were simply wandering around Towson, and we acquainted ourselves with a man waiting for his bus. This man, named J.R., was hilarious. I had rarely if ever had any interaction with anyone like J.R. prior to that night. Life can be both surprising and intriguing with little more than a bit of human interaction.
I remember a movie called The Visitor that also reminds me of this. The main character, Walter, has spent his life after the death of his wife teaching a single class at a university and telling his boss that he is spending all his free time writing a new book. In short, he is a grumpy old man. The trigger of the events in the movie is when Walter returns to his second apartment in NYC after a long hiatus to find that someone took the liberty to rent it to a small, poor family of illegal immigrants consisting of Tarik and his girlfriend Zainab. Walter reluctantly decides to allow them to stay after he discovers they have no place to live. Eventually he gets caught up with them and makes their problems his own. He once again becomes a passionate, caring individual.
In Teddy Macker’s essay, The Weight*, he talks about his teacher, Mr. Wain, who harassed a young girl. I, likewise, had a teacher who was accused of harassing a girl in my middle school. Contrary to Mr. Wain, it was rumored that my teacher took his own life because of this accusation. Although Mr. Wain lost everything he loved in life, along with the only place he felt comfortable, he must have realized he could start over somewhere and still enjoy his experiences. I probably will never find out if the rumor about my teacher is true, but whether or not his specific case actually happened this way doesn’t really matter. What matters is that things like this happen all the time. Someone makes one mistake, and they kill themselves because they believe their lives will never again be fulfilling. The song “A Better Place, A Better Time” by Streetlight Manifesto sums up my feelings on this: “Fuck buying flowers for graves / I'd rather buy you a one way non-stop to anywhere / find anyone / do anything / forget and start again.” If you or anyone you know is ever considering suicide, just remember starting fresh is easier than it seems.
*The Weight was an essay we read in class by Teddy Macker, a guy who taught at Gilman last year
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