Getting All Nostalgic

I remember when fun meant something different to me. It was so much simpler. My brother and I could just play with our action figures and beanie babies for hours on end. It wasn't even that long ago that I could walk out my front door and play basketball or football with my neighbors. Nostalgia is a funny thing for me. Although I wish I could experience this again, I love life as it is now, too. Unlike Springsteen's "The River," my life did not suddenly get worse after that period. I'm not in any great pain now, and I realize that those times were not actually any better than the present, just different. When I look back, my nostalgia makes me feel warm on the inside. My brother and I were driving around a couple weeks ago, and we decided to revisit the neighborhood where we grew up. Just remembering the good times we had brought me back, and I feel like it wasn't that long ago after all.

College... Shit.

I'm starting to get caught up in the college frenzy. It seems early to me. It's still over a year and a half before I'll be leaving. For high school, although it was not nearly as big of a deal, I didn't start looking around until the fall of 8th grade, and there were still three or four schools that I wanted check out. It was by no means an easy decision at such an age, and I still didn't even start until less than a year before I left. I have no idea where I'm going, what I want to study, or what colleges I can even get into. It's exciting, but, in a way, scary. This could be one of the biggest decisions of my life. It will determine what direction I set out in. If I have a really shitty experience, it could actually ruin my life. There is still so much further to go before I reach that point, but if I get in where I want to, it could set my life on the right track. As I type this, I'm listening to Staralfur by Sigur Ros. It truly exemplefies my emotion right now. It's timid, yet hopeful.

My "Totes Faves" Albums

First things first: "totes faves" most likely means total favorites (?). It's just something my English teacher says (somewhat randomly) but he's a decent guy anyway. Here goes:



5. Milo Goes to College - can't go wrong with it, so many good songs, and it all fits together

4. The Airing of Grievances - I'm hesitant to add this because I first heard this only recently,

but it's one of those albums that gets better with every listen

3. Born to Run - Still Springsteen's best, although the River is quite good as well

2. As the Eternal Cowboy - my first Against Me! album, easily their most cohesive work

1. Sink or Swim - without a doubt, nothing can compare to this



TV on the Radio, the Hold Steady, Okkervil River, and Johnny Hobo all get honorable mention because right now they are my favorites, but it's just too soon to put them in the top 5.

Fuck the steelers, man.

Titus Andronicus. The kind of band I wish I could create. Despite most of the crowd not having a clue who they were, they played their hearts out. During the first song, "My Time Outside The Womb," Andrew, their lead singer/guitarist/keyboardist, jumped on top of an amp, and it promptly fell over. He did it with such energy and recklessness that you could tell he was just feeling the music. Despite the intensity he displayed, the crowd still did not join in until "Fear and Loathing in Mahweh, NJ" (most likely because of the 5 minutes it took to reset the amp), when everyone knows the giant "FUCK YOU". Despite the simple awesomeness of that song, the highlight of the set was the self-titled "Titus Andronicus" when no one can resist the catchy "no more cigarettes, no more having sex, no more drinking til you fall on the floor", and the clapping that even non-fans were able to join in on. Overall, this was a great show to start off the new year with.

Do You Really Believe You're Better Than Me?

I don't give a shit who you think you are or what sense of self-importance you give yourself, nothing ever gives anyone the right to mock others for who they are. A little while ago at Gilman, a kid got in trouble and ended up leaving the school because he snapped after from what I understand to be incessant bullying from several football players. Apparently, the kid wrote f___ those football players on something. Although the football players had little evidence who the writer was, they essentially tortured this kid into a confession by putting him in a headlock until he confessed. When they released him, he ran from them, crying, and screamed f___ n_____. Although because of our oversensitive society, these comments seem completely uncalled for. I am not condoning or justifying his choice of words, but it seems like the faculty has forgiven the football players who instigated the whole situation. One member said: "Most days, there are at least 10 freshman at a time in headlocks." Does this make the behavior acceptable? These guys drove this kid so far that he completely flipped. This situation just reminds me of a Titus Andronicus quote: "If I could say only one thing with the whole world listening, it would be 'Leave me the fuck alone.'" That's what I don't understand about it. Millions of people every day have to suck it up and take much more personal insults than these football players received, but because of their sense of entitlement, they are too proud to let it go.

A little bit about me

My name is Andy. I'm 16 and a junior at Gilman, an independent school in Maryland. At Gilman, I'm around the middle of my class. I try not to work too hard, but I want to get into a good college like Georgetown or possibly UPenn so I am going to try to work just hard enough. We get a lot of free periods, during which nearly everyone at one point or another plays chess. This is the most unique part of Gilman. Regardless of who you are, it is not weird to play chess, and no one would be considered a "nerd" simply for playing. On the other hand, members of the chess team actually refer to themselves as nerds. Although I am on the team, the other members decided that I was not nearly strange, awkward, or uncoordinated enough to be a true nerd. So I was deemed an honorary nerd.
At Gilman, chess is a huge portion of my identity, but outside of school my true passion is music. The music that I love most is the kind that was formed in a tightly knit community in which the music is foremost, and pleasing others and making money is not even considered. Music that I have been listening to recently that fits this description includes early Against Me!, Titus Andronicus, Johnny Hobo, and several others. In my personal experience, the music written in these situations is again the most passionate and entertaining of anything I have ever heard. I am a regular at MKS practices, and in the past several months I have been to two house shows at Earl's friend Joey G's house, each of which have featured performances by MKS, TV Dinner,and Failed Attempts At Facial Hair. At the latter of these shows, there was even an appearance of a rapper who calls his act Is He Misery. These first three groups all play music that I am familiar with and love, but I have never enjoyed more than a few rap songs. I genuinely believe Is He Misery was the best act after MKS (I may be biased, but because my brother and I have extremely similar musical tastes, I think he just plays what we both like) despite my distaste for rap. Well, anyway, the combination of these acts made for the best night of my life (along with Mr. G pulling out the atlas, which was a lot more entertaining than it sounds). Music is my life, and I hope nothing ever separates me from it or changes my taste for the worse.
I don't want to limit myself to music, chess, or school because I really enjoy all of these, and I wouldn't give any of them up for the world.