I'm Ready for that Wild and Reckless Breeze

second semester, senior year. So many things going down right now. This week: acceptance (hopefully) from UMD, advancing (hopefully) to semi-finals for Nova scholarship, senior retreat, new classes (including Dan Christian's C.S. Lewis, I'm so excited), getting reamed by end of semester/exam grades (I got an email yesterday telling me that I'm lucky I didn't get a 0% on a psych assignment). Most of all though, it's a fresh start. Grades start to lose meaning. I have only 8 (?) months until college. I still have no idea where I'll be heading. Swarthmore, Hopkins, UMD, Nova, GW, Bucknell all sound fantastic. I'm also heavily addicted to coffee; during exam week I averaged 4 cups a day. Now I'm cutting back to 1-2, and I'm gonna have to go cold turkey on retreat. Whatever, I just get really tired without it. After 8 hours of sleep yesterday, I fell asleep at 1pm, about 4 hours after getting up. I'm a little fucked. Also, when I do drink coffee, my face twitches madly whenever I get nervous. I gotta get off that shit. Shouldn't be too tough though. Fuck it's delicious though. I'm drinking a cup right now.

Another thing: 2010 is pretty damn good so far music-wise. The Monitor might just be better than anything from 2009, and Spraynard put out a damn fine album as well. Put that together with another Gaslight album, possibly another Hold Steady album. 2009 was a pretty goddamn amazing year, but I think 2010 is going to top it. Fuck, I just know something disastrous is going to happen to fuck it up for me. Ah, well, I'll just live it out.

I Named My Recent Short Story "Trapped In The Closet" For Shits And Giggles

yo. im tired of this high school bullshit. taking classes in areas that i couldnt give a single fuck about. china? writing fiction? i suck major cock at english/history. i want to learn something thats important to me. and yea, i still have to try cause i didnt get into columbia. where am i headed now? jhu? swarthmore? umd? villanova? i'd be cool with any of these, but i just want to know now. i gotta be done with gilman. 5 months left i guess. i'll just have to wait it out, bs some assignments, stay up all night watching shitty movies.

fuck! my ears are still ringing from that double dagger concert yesterday. i wish i didnt know that i'm going deaf. hopefully cochlear implants will be amazing by the time i need one. theyre pretty good already, but i dont think you can listen to music through one.

i think im changing my mind about seeing the youth in revolt movie. the preview makes it look amazing. presenting nick and francios as two characters in the same scene sounds like a great idea. i laughed out loud at francios' silly mustache. my god, it will be amazing.

Why do people get so excited for little stupid shit? Pep rally was today, and it was the same as every other year, more or less. The school president wrote a poem that was slightly amusing, we made fun of Mcdonogh for being a bunch of rednecks (even though a good chunk of our students live closer to Mcdonogh than Gilman), and then we beat down on them. People didn't get too pumped for this, but at the end a couple skydivers jumped down and everyone went nuts. I don't get it.

Other than that, first round of college apps are done. Good for me. Life moves on.

The Only Thing We Know Is It's Getting Dark And We Better Go

Love is in the air. My uncle is getting married today (finally). Good for him. I think he'll be so much happier for the rest of his life. Anyway, for once I know a girl that I don't completely hate. I'm not certain that I particularly like her, but she's smart and likes decent music, so I respect her. Goddamn. Have I never respected a girl before? I can't think of any examples that disprove this. Wow. Maybe I'm just a bitter jackass. Or maybe girls need to stop being such whores. It doesn't really matter. I'm excited for life again.

girls, girls, girls, girls, girls I do adore...

maybe not jay-z, but I think I know what you mean.

College, Redundancy, The Big Dance

Working hard, trying desperately to get into Columbia. Classes are pretty easy though. I really wish I had put some effort into the first 3 years. Fuck. I'm going to end up going to my third or fourth choice because I dicked around so much. I tried to be cool by not doing any work, but now I realize all that matters is what I want, and what I want now is to get into college. I guess I just never thought about it until my counselors told me my grades needed to be about 5 points higher to get into a top college. I had always assumed that I would destroy the SATs and everything would sort itself out after that. Apparently that isn't the way things work.

In other news, homecoming this weekend. I'm not sure what to feel. I am actually going to the dance for the first time. Honestly, I don't care for dances at all. They are tacky and boring for the most part. I guess just hanging out will be fun. The girl I'm taking is pretty and is into some decent music. I'm not sure we totally agree about music, but I think only 2-3 people do. Also, in a surprising coincidence, out of the twenty-some people at Mirkwood in July, both of us were in attendance! And I didn't even know this until after I asked her to the dance. FUCKING WILD.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Summer sucks. I get yelled at everyday to get a job, I don't get to sleep in anymore, and every night is like a Friday: exhausting. I wish I were 12 or 13 again. Working 5 hours a week was more than enough; I had virtually no expenses. At least during school I could see my friends without spending all my money on something to do. Why can't we all just hang out anymore? Why do we always have to buy food or go out? I'd be happy just watching the O's at someone's house. I'll even bring some fucking cheese dip.

How Anologous!

this charming man: the gaslight anthem as MKS: the unbroken heroes